I hear from people on a regular basis that are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. They always end up saying something like: “I am just so tired of feeling all alone!” On the other hand I hear from people who have found Mr. or Mrs. Right and they often complain by saying the same thing: “I’m just so tired of feeling all alone!” As I think of my own life, I have been alone and lonely, as well as connected and lonely.

The key word in the phrase ”I am just so tired of feeling all alone.” is “FEELING“! When we truly begin to understand the power of feeling and how it has the potential to play with our emotions on levels we cannot even hardly begin to comprehend, then we may be able to start a process of healing and growth that will allow us to live life at new levels, which are actually old levels that we were created for.

We don’t like feeling feelings, because sometimes they hurt. Feelings can make you cry at the most unexpected times and for reasons that do not give you a clue as to why??? Feelings can make you feel like this whole human experience thing is overrated and quiet possibly a big ole waste of time. Most of us try to ignore our feelings by pushing them back into whatever open recesses of our phyche we can find, only to have those pesky little feelings find their way back to the main stage of our life and living.

The problem for most of us and the reason we find ourselves feeling all alone is because while we have learned to feel our feelings, we have not learned to allow them to reveal what they are really present for. Feelings do have a purpose and it’s not to get you down. The purpose is to help you take an honest look at yourself from the inside out and from the outside in. Feelings are about introspection that manifests the growth and success you were created for.

Here are a few things I am learning from feeling my feelings:

1. Every Feeling Has A Purpose! Your goal in feeling your feelings is to figure out the purpose of the feeling. Sometimes the purpose is to alert you by getting your attention and focusing it in a certain direction. Sometimes the purpose is to grow you and this growth takes place on many different levels. Sometimes the purpose is to take you to a place you are not willing to take yourself. Whenever you find yourself all up in your feelings, there is a reason. Figure out your reason and you are headed to a better place.

2. What You Feel You Feel! There is no right or wrong feelings, you feel what you feel. The trick is to open yourself spiritually, mentally and physically to allow your feeling to do whatever work it has come in your life to do. Stop looking for validation or excuse from others, do your work and experience your growth. When we start to really feel our feelings, they produce growth and blessing. There may be some pain, frustration or disappointment to work through, but once you’re through it, you see yourself at a much better place.

3. We Are So Much More Than Our Feelings! Feelings can come from many different places, represent a plethora of emotions and can be a big challenge to try and understand. They can be handy and helpful or toilsome and pesky all at the same time. One of the most amazing and beneficial lessons I am learning from feeling my feelings is that I am not limited to or by them. I am so much more than what I feel and so are you!

Live life long enough and you will discover that feelings come and go. You can be up and happy on the mountaintop one moment and down and out in the valley the next. The most important thing is to feel them, learn whatever they are teaching and grow on…

What will make you happy? Do you know? There are brief moments when we think we do, but then ”The Battle” begins and we totally lose the thought, idea, belief, dream or ambition that once brought us the greatest sense of happiness, pleasure and fulfillment, even if it was for just a few moments. How crazy is it, that the thing we look forward to, the thing that puts a smile on our face, the thing that relaxes us, the thing that actually gives us an idea that we have a shot at happiness on a whole different level, becomes the thing that gets caught up in a battle for the ages?

The simple answer is: This is life and this too shall pass! The problem is, we start to think we have to make something happen or we have to make something not happen. In those brief moments when we think we might be beginning to ”know” happiness, we are not striving, battling, toiling or in the midst of struggle. In fact, we are in the totally opposite place of ”allowing” – letting be what will be. We are not making anything happen, it is what it is and it is good, happy, blessed… Until? Until we stop enjoying and start questioning. We trade satisfaction for introspection with some warped sense of expectation that we, them or it knows better. In this little game that we all tend to get caught up in, we cheat ourselves out of blessing and rob ourselves of true happiness. And while we want to blame it on someone else, we are the ones guilty of where we allow the thoughts of our very own mind to take and shape us.

This cheating and robbing ourselves, this removing ourselves from true and genuine fulfillment is something we have been in training for all of our lives. From the very moment of our arrival onto this oxygenated planet we have been training for a battle that we really have no business even being engaged in. It is one battle that we will fight for our entire human existence, made up of many wars, fights and skirmishes, until we decide that enough is enough. Most of the people who do make it to that place of freedom and fulfillment, don’t usually get there, until most of the other cards have been removed from the table, which sad to say is in the moments just before they leave this human experience through death.

While I am not an authority on the subject and I don’t have all the answers, I am a student and I have made a few observations that I am learning from and believe may be worth some consideration. If we could some how just teach, train, grow ourselves to enjoy what is, without the battle of questions, striving, second guessing and being worried about everyone else’s opinion, then I believe we could actually enjoy this amazing thing called life and be amazed by the adventures it will take us on, but we must be willing to get out of it’s way.

Below are three major areas of battle we need to stop engaging:

1. We Battle With Self! I have come to know this as a continual fight with my ego. Ego is driven by a thinking process that it fueled by the idea that I am what I have, what I do or what I think other people think of me. The truth is: We are so much more than any of that and this life is so much more. The problem with living in our head is we miss really living in our life.

2. We Battle With Others! Unfortunately, too many of us get caught up in the idea of what is everybody else is going to think? We are actually willing to sacrifice, let go of and trade our own happiness, fulfillment and blessing for the approval of others, most of whom can’t figure out or maintain their own lives and living. One of my favorite quotes is: “What someone else thinks of you is none of your business!”

3. We Battle With ”It”! There is “the something” we can’t put a name on, that we do battle with and we usually can’t even explain why, we just know that whatever “it” is has destroyed our hopes and left a trail of wasted time and shattered dreams. How can we give power to something or someone that we can’t even name? The answer: Because we choose to and if we choose to give power, then we can choose to take it away and use it for ourselves.

You were created for fulfillment, happiness, pleasure, joy and satisfaction. Don’t you dare settle for anything less than your created best. Fight the battles you need to and let go of the ones that don’t really matter. One of your greatest powers is the power of choice – it is up to you…