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Are You Happy?

I used to have a friend that would ask me a simple, but powerful question on a fairly consistent basis. He would ask: “Are you happy?” I would answer: “I guess?” I mean, I wasn’t sad, so the opposite is happy, so I must be happy, right? Every now I then, I would wonder to myself: “Are you happy?”, but something else would come along and take control of my thoughts and I would drift onto something else.

I see and hear a lot of people in our world today that are not happy. I think if you asked most people, they would say: “I would like to be happy, but I’m not so sure how to get there. I think a lot of folks spend the first half of their lives, just trying to figure out what “happy” is. We think we know, get it rounded up and discover that what we thought it might be, turns out to be a wrong guess. Which is exactly why I think that a lot of us tend to give up and become satisfied if “happy” just kinda crosses over our tracks every now and then.

But the truth is, we were created for so much more than that. I think one of the problems with the idea of “happy” is that we think it’s a place to be, a destination to arrive at, but it is so much more than that. One of my favorite teachers, Wayne Dyer, puts it this way: “There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.” I really do like that:  “HAPPINESS IS THE WAY!”  We just have to get our definition and understanding of happiness right and then the rest tends to fall into place.

So what is happiness? Happiness is a lot of different things and it really depends on who you are talking to. Happiness is a choice, a decision of direction that we choose for ourselves, regardless of the situation or projected outcome. Some are happy going and some are happy sitting at home. Some are happy in a noisy crowd and some are happy enjoying quiet time alone. Some are happy with abundance, while some are happy with very little. This actually gives us a clue as to what happiness really is…

HAPPINESS IS  A CHOICE!  Abraham Lincoln said: “We are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be!” That is why you can see two people go through identical situations and one will be happy and up on cloud nine and the other will be down in the dumps and ready to die. So, the one most important thing we can learn about happiness is that happiness is a choice that we get to make for ourselves.

There it is, YOU GET TO DECIDE FOR YOU! You cannot decide for anyone else, but you can decide for yourself and you, yourself can make a difference in helping others to get there for themselves. If you are going through something hard, difficult or challenging, you can be happy knowing that it is making you stronger, revealing wisdom to you and showing you a side of yourself that you never knew existed. If you are going through good times, blessings and success, you can be happy knowing that what you’ve dreamed of and worked for is a reality that makes life better, sweeter and easier.

Choose to by happy, regardless, you will be glad you did!

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Feeling Your Feelings!

I hear from people on a regular basis that are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. They always end up saying something like: “I am just so tired of feeling all alone!” On the other hand I hear from people who have found Mr. or Mrs. Right and they often complain by saying the same thing: “I’m just so tired of feeling all alone!” As I think of my own life, I have been alone and lonely, as well as connected and lonely.

The key word in the phrase ”I am just so tired of feeling all alone.” is “FEELING“! When we truly begin to understand the power of feeling and how it has the potential to play with our emotions on levels we cannot even hardly begin to comprehend, then we may be able to start a process of healing and growth that will allow us to live life at new levels, which are actually old levels that we were created for.

We don’t like feeling feelings, because sometimes they hurt. Feelings can make you cry at the most unexpected times and for reasons that do not give you a clue as to why??? Feelings can make you feel like this whole human experience thing is overrated and quiet possibly a big ole waste of time. Most of us try to ignore our feelings by pushing them back into whatever open recesses of our phyche we can find, only to have those pesky little feelings find their way back to the main stage of our life and living.

The problem for most of us and the reason we find ourselves feeling all alone is because while we have learned to feel our feelings, we have not learned to allow them to reveal what they are really present for. Feelings do have a purpose and it’s not to get you down. The purpose is to help you take an honest look at yourself from the inside out and from the outside in. Feelings are about introspection that manifests the growth and success you were created for.

Here are a few things I am learning from feeling my feelings:

1. Every Feeling Has A Purpose! Your goal in feeling your feelings is to figure out the purpose of the feeling. Sometimes the purpose is to alert you by getting your attention and focusing it in a certain direction. Sometimes the purpose is to grow you and this growth takes place on many different levels. Sometimes the purpose is to take you to a place you are not willing to take yourself. Whenever you find yourself all up in your feelings, there is a reason. Figure out your reason and you are headed to a better place.

2. What You Feel You Feel! There is no right or wrong feelings, you feel what you feel. The trick is to open yourself spiritually, mentally and physically to allow your feeling to do whatever work it has come in your life to do. Stop looking for validation or excuse from others, do your work and experience your growth. When we start to really feel our feelings, they produce growth and blessing. There may be some pain, frustration or disappointment to work through, but once you’re through it, you see yourself at a much better place.

3. We Are So Much More Than Our Feelings! Feelings can come from many different places, represent a plethora of emotions and can be a big challenge to try and understand. They can be handy and helpful or toilsome and pesky all at the same time. One of the most amazing and beneficial lessons I am learning from feeling my feelings is that I am not limited to or by them. I am so much more than what I feel and so are you!

Live life long enough and you will discover that feelings come and go. You can be up and happy on the mountaintop one moment and down and out in the valley the next. The most important thing is to feel them, learn whatever they are teaching and grow on…

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Change Your Perspective And Change Your Life!

Do you ever get to the place in this human existence where you are just kinda tired of it all? You feel worn out, beat up and like no one really cares. And if truth be told, you are not so sure that you care anymore either? You seem to live under a mountain of stress and under an unrelenting and continual bombardment of negativity. There are so many people living miserable lives and they actually have the power to do something about it, but feel trapped, useless and defeated. That may be you, but I have discovered some good news that helped me to dig out from under all “the stuff” and that I believe can help you as well.

Live life long enough and you will discover that there are some things you can do something about and some things you can’t do anything about. And so, if you paying attention, you eventually come to realize it’s not so much about what you do, but how you see things that really is the point. One of my favorite teachers and mentors Wayne Dwyer used to teach it this way: “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” In other words: ”Perspective Matters!”

What is perspective? Perspective is seeing things from a particular point of view. If you don’t like what you are seeing, then change your point of view and keep changing your point of view until you get to where you need to be. Is it really that simple? Of course it is! We just love complicating things. You are in charge of your perspective. You decide who or what, you will allow to influence your day and the way you see things. Once you realize the incredible power you have at your disposal, your life will begin to change in miraculous and beautiful ways.

Here are a few tips to help you begin changing your perspective in a positive way:

1. Learn From Yesterday! Many times in life, we get stuck in the “could’ve, would’ve, and should’ves of life. We all make mistakes, commit sin and miss the mark. It does not do you or anyone else any good to continue beating up on yourself about your mistakes. I like to say: “If you learn from your mistake, then it was an education, not a waste.” Learn whatever you need to learn from yesterday, let it go and move on. This is one of the reasons that it is important to build quiet times for meditation, reflection and rest. We need time to think about and process what we are facing and dealing with. Carve time into your everyday life to go for a walk in nature, enjoy some time outside on a park bench or enjoy an afternoon nap.

2. Look For The Good In Today! There is something good in everyday, we just have to search until we find it and when it comes to digging out from under the heaviness that weighs us down, this is work that is very worth doing. One of the big things that helps me to find the good is GRATITUDE. Simply taking the time to think about all I have to be thankful for is a game changer. I encourage you to make a list and check it twice, three times if necessary. For me, this is where journaling comes in. It does not have to be complicated or technical. All you need to begin is notebook with a place to write down what you are grateful for, a space to record meaningful quotes that have spoken to you, a safe place to think about and plan the tasks you need to get done. This simple discipline, made a part of your daily ritual will pay off in very big ways.

3. Live Forward To Tomorrow! There is great power in having something to look forward to. And there is always something to look forward to. It may be the sun that is going to come out. It may be the work that is going to be finished. It may be the person we are going to see. It may be the goal that is achieved. The list could go on and on. The important thing is to think about and know “all of God’s children” have things to look forward to. Replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Look for and focus on the positive, the more we practice, the better we get. One of the things I’ve found that helps me move from negative to positive is “helping others”. There is just something about sharing an encouraging word, giving a pat on the back or taking the time to listen that not only blesses others, but makes my day better as well. We should always be on the lookout for how we can make someone else’s day better and then do it.

We can change our perspective and live much more positive and productive lives, if we will simply begin with the choice to change the way we look at and see things. Give it a try, you will be glad you did…