Happiness is a choice.  The reason that we tend to miss out on happiness so often, is because we are looking for something big to turn our frown around.  When the something big does not make it our way, then we are disappointed and often allow our disappointment to grow into something bigger than our happiness.

The trick to being happy is learning to appreciate the small things that are blessings and not sweat the small things that are challenges.  So you spilled your coffee all over the car this morning, big deal.  At least you have a car and had a cup of coffee, which is easily replaced.  Do you get it?  We focus on the wrong stuff and miss all the good positive we have to help take us to that place of happiness.

One good, right and positive thought can turn your whole day around.  The key is to get intentional about thinking and rethinking good, right and positive thoughts, so that they begin to take the place of the negative life suckers that seem to always come a knocking.

This is why I sometimes put the little messages up on Facebook at throughout the day. My hope is to encourage, make you smile or give you a good thought.  The small blessings in life matter and they make more of a difference than we realize, especially if we let them.  Look for small blessings today, let them change your focus, turn your day around and make it better and then help someone else to do the same.  You will be glad you did!

There seems to be a lot of talk about stress now a days.  A lot of people are stressed out.  It is even common to hear primary school children talking about they are stressed.  Stop and think about it and you know it’s a sad state of affairs, when primary school children are talking about being stressed out.

What’s the deal with all of this stress and its negative impact on our world.  You can’t get on the computer without being confronted with it.  You can’t watch the news without hearing all about it.  Most all of us at some time or another and possibly right now would consider ourselves stressed.

We tend to think that people, events and circumstances of life are the cause of our stress. We like to blame it on people we work with, live beside or even randomly encounter.  It might be the weather, our 401k or a relationship that’s taken a left turn.

Reality is – Bad things happen!  The economy bombs, we struggle, people disappoint, dreams fail and life just does not always work the way we want it to.  We often only see this bad stuff happening to us, but it happens to everybody.

Why is it that some people are stressed and some are not?  What’s the difference between the two?  CHOICE!  Stress is a choice.  Yes – something always comes along to trigger it, but still we have a choice about how we respond to the trigger.

I choose my response.  I decide my emotion.  I pick my reaction.  Stress is a choice and in my life, I am the one that decides if I am stressed or not.  It is true that others can have a big influence, but ultimately it is me that makes the choice to allow the influence to impact me in a negative or positive way.

Bottom Line:  Stress is the result of our choices.  You can be a victim or a victor?  You can give up control and be stressed or exercise control and grow?  It really is your choice – you decide for you.

Someone said “Stressed is Desserts spelled backwards!”  I am trying to make the right choice, trust that God has a plan for me through it all and since I get to decide for me, I think I’ll have another slice of pie!

I had this friend who used to always get mad at other people who would talk about what another one of their friends had told them.  He used to say, “I can’t believe these people call themselves friends and then go and blab to others.”   He believed that loyalty was one of the most important gifts you could give someone.

Being in ministry can be very lonely, but is does not have to be.  You can have friends and they will be some great friends, but you have to move slowly.  There are some people you will share things with, not because you are trying to be bad or hurt anyone, but because you trust them and need a sounding board.  Sometimes you need to get a grasp on whats going on around you and dialogue about the situations you are facing. This is an important part of the process.  But you have to be careful.  Just because you need to have a conversation, does not mean that you should be having one.  And when you have one, you have to make sure that it honors God above everything else and this is the big challenge.

As a leader, you cannot just have these conversations anywhere and with anyone.  I have heard and I am sure been guilty of discussing something that I should not have at a lunch table, where others could overhear.  I have also discussed challenges I was facing with people, who I thought I could trust, people who had pledged their loyalty and in the end, discovered that they were pretty much just like everybody else.  This is not a slam, just a reality of life that we all must realize and face.  Live long enough and you will discover that this is not a one time occurence, it will happen to you again and again, until you decide to not play this silly and dangerous game.

Aristotle said:  “Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.”  Here are some things I am learning in my mind and in my heart about friends and the conversations we have:

1.)  There are some things that we only need to talk with God about.  You want to talk to a person, you need to hear an opinion, but you better talk to God and wait for His reply.  In the long run this works better for everyone.

2.)  Friends are there to help each other.  Before engaging or allowing yourself to be pulled into a conversation ask yourself this question:  “How is this conversation going to benefit me, them and whoever we are talking about?”  If there is not benefit for everyone, then think twice and maybe even three times about having the conversation.

3.)  Friendships are give and take.  They are supposed to make your life better and more enjoyable.  Friendships are best when they are shared.  Always work to enlarge the circle.  Enlarging the circle will help you to keep your conversations right by talking about things that are mutually beneficial to all.

There is a lot that could be added to this list.  My goal today was not to give us a complete list, but to hopefully challenge and get us to thinking about getting our friendships right, so they can begin the process of growing deep roots that will help them last forever.

I have been very fortunate in my life to have some very good friends, some men and women, who I trust and love and can’t wait to spend some time with.  We talk, work, minister, share and grow together – it’s a beautiful thing.  I’ve still got a lot to learn.  I am trying to get there and with my “Best Friend’s” help, I know I will.