Trust is one of those things that has to continually be worked on. Over time it will develop on it’s on, but for it to grow strong and powerful, we must be willing to give ourselves to one another on a different level than with most. The following is a few tips to help grow this most vital trait to growing and developing our friendships/relationships.
1. You Have To TAKE And MAKE Time To Get To Know One Another! You need to take time to share each other’s biggest dreams, as well as worst nightmares. You need to discuss your morals and why you feel the way you do. Take time to think about how you were raised, what you value and what your challenges are.
2. Figure Out Where The Boundary Lines Are Located! As you grow in your friendship/relationship, you will discover that these are often changing as you face challenges and as you grow. This is where honest conversation is very important and this is why getting to know each other is so important. You need to know what the limits are – what is acceptable and what is unacceptable. If something makes one of you feel uncomfortable, then you need the freedom to share, and if the freedom is not there, then you have a major boundary that is going to get in the way of the friendship/relationship moving forward. It’s not about doing whatever you want and it’s not about controlling the other person, it is about growing together.
3. Practice The Golden Rule! “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!” This is just common courtesy and should be a given in any friendship/relationship. Give what you want and receive what you give. This is seriously one of the biggest challenges to our growing, because often there is an expectation of one kind of treatment, but the display of another. If you love and care about someone them treat them, the way that you want to be treated in all things, not just some things.
4. Communicate, Talk & Share! The more open you are about who you are, what you do, how you think, where you are going and when you hope to get there, the better off everyone will be. You cannot grow a friendship/relationship, if you do not have regular and meaningful communication. Get rid of the guesswork for the other person by being totally open about what you think and feel. Distrust starts to sneak into a friendship/relationship when there is any breakdown in communication. The distrust may be totally unfounded, but we are humans and when their is a void our mind tends to fill it with the worst of our imaginations. If you really love your friend/partner, then you should want to communicate in as many ways and as many times as possible.
5. Practice Honesty! Sometimes this is easier said than done, because we don’t want to risk hurt feelings or bruised egos, but in the long run it always costs us more, if we miss the boat on this one. I say practice, because this will always be something that you are working to improve. The best way to tear up the bridge of trust is to start being dishonest with each other. Don’t get angry, just explain yourself, where you are coming from and why you did what you did and begin building from there. If you made a mistake, admit it and once a mistake is admitted – move forward without dwelling on the past.
Before we wrap up, let’s take a moment to talk about broken trust and what to do about it, because it is bound to happen at some point. When trust has been broken, it does not have to mean the end of the friendship/relationship. Many friendship/relationships have survived broken trust. The key is to realize that it is going to take time for recovery and if the two of you are willing to make the time for the recovery, then it is more than possible. In fact, it is possible to build the trust stronger than it was before. You may have to go back to “Square 1″, but you’ve been there before and it was a great place to start from. Three things are important here: 1.) Ask for and give forgiveness. 2.) Allow time for healing of the hurt, anger and madness. 3.) Accept and deal with the changing boundaries.
Life is better when it is shared! And you were created to share life with others. Take some time to work on TRUST and as you grow in your friendship/relationships, you will live blessed!