I had this friend who used to always get mad at other people who would talk about what another one of their friends had told them.  He used to say, “I can’t believe these people call themselves friends and then go and blab to others.”   He believed that loyalty was one of the most important gifts you could give someone.

Being in ministry can be very lonely, but is does not have to be.  You can have friends and they will be some great friends, but you have to move slowly.  There are some people you will share things with, not because you are trying to be bad or hurt anyone, but because you trust them and need a sounding board.  Sometimes you need to get a grasp on whats going on around you and dialogue about the situations you are facing. This is an important part of the process.  But you have to be careful.  Just because you need to have a conversation, does not mean that you should be having one.  And when you have one, you have to make sure that it honors God above everything else and this is the big challenge.

As a leader, you cannot just have these conversations anywhere and with anyone.  I have heard and I am sure been guilty of discussing something that I should not have at a lunch table, where others could overhear.  I have also discussed challenges I was facing with people, who I thought I could trust, people who had pledged their loyalty and in the end, discovered that they were pretty much just like everybody else.  This is not a slam, just a reality of life that we all must realize and face.  Live long enough and you will discover that this is not a one time occurence, it will happen to you again and again, until you decide to not play this silly and dangerous game.

Aristotle said:  “Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.”  Here are some things I am learning in my mind and in my heart about friends and the conversations we have:

1.)  There are some things that we only need to talk with God about.  You want to talk to a person, you need to hear an opinion, but you better talk to God and wait for His reply.  In the long run this works better for everyone.

2.)  Friends are there to help each other.  Before engaging or allowing yourself to be pulled into a conversation ask yourself this question:  “How is this conversation going to benefit me, them and whoever we are talking about?”  If there is not benefit for everyone, then think twice and maybe even three times about having the conversation.

3.)  Friendships are give and take.  They are supposed to make your life better and more enjoyable.  Friendships are best when they are shared.  Always work to enlarge the circle.  Enlarging the circle will help you to keep your conversations right by talking about things that are mutually beneficial to all.

There is a lot that could be added to this list.  My goal today was not to give us a complete list, but to hopefully challenge and get us to thinking about getting our friendships right, so they can begin the process of growing deep roots that will help them last forever.

I have been very fortunate in my life to have some very good friends, some men and women, who I trust and love and can’t wait to spend some time with.  We talk, work, minister, share and grow together – it’s a beautiful thing.  I’ve still got a lot to learn.  I am trying to get there and with my “Best Friend’s” help, I know I will.

Life here on this earth is way to short.  This is why we need to make sure that we are having some fun.  Fun is different for every person.  Some people have to plan out very specific things, while others can pretty much dig it up and get it started wherever they find themselves.  It does not matter which category you fall into, just step out of your busyness for a few moments and make the choice to have a little fun today.

You might go out and watch the sunrise or sunset.  You might go for a walk and kick some leaves around.  You could go shopping for something you don’t really need.  You could call a friend and tell “knock, knock” jokes.  You could go buy your favorite candy and eat the whole thing.  Here is the secret:  The what is not as important as the how.

Whatever you do today – do it with the intentional intention of having fun!  You are worth a little fun and the people around you are worth a little fun.  A smile on the face and joy in the heart are gifts from a loving God, Who has amazing plans for your life.

Ecclesiastes 8:15 says:  “So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be merry. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun.”  God created you for life and God created life to be enjoyed, so get out and have a little fun today.  Do it right and you actually give glory to God…

Last night, I taught the first part of a lesson on priorities.  In preparing for the lesson, I had to think a lot about the things that I value.  In thinking about the things that I value, I had to think about the way that I spend my time.  I had to be honest about what I make a priority in my life.

Some of the time, what I say I value and the way I spend my time do not match up.  For example, I may say, I value God, family, friends, calling/ministry and work, but the way I spend my time may not reveal that this is what I value and especially in this order.

While I value all of these things, there may be other things that I value that in my mind, I am not even aware of.  Does this make me a bad person?  No, it makes me a person and that is what we do.  We often say one thing and do another.  Does this mean that I have work to do?  Yes, of course it does.

It is true that there is a difference between quantity and quality when it comes to time and who and how we spend it, and I have noticed that if I am not careful, I can use this as an excuse to justify what I value and get my priorities all out of whack.  If I am honest with myself, then I realize that the priority fight is a full-time, never-ending battle.

The more I think about it and as I look back on my life, I have really messed this one up and wasted a lot of time.  I am thankful that my Creator is understanding with me and I want to honor His love, acceptance and grace by getting my values right and my priorities in order, so that my life will bring Him glory.

I’ve got a lot of work to do, and being honest with myself and others about this is a very big first step.  I want to encourage you to take a little time to think about what you value and the priorities of your life.  Also take some time to look at your life and how you spend your time.  What is the way your spend your time really telling you about what you value?

If you are honest in your evaluation, then I am almost certain that you will find some adjustments that need to be made and some changes that are worth embracing.  Go ahead and think about it, in the long run, you will be glad you did!