Category Archives: Healing

Dealing With Anger Before It Deals With You!

There is nothing wrong with getting angry, in fact it is a natural human response that indicates that something has annoyed, challenged or frustrated us. The problem with anger is when we allow it to take control and call the shots for us, often causing us to say or do something that we later regret and feel shame for.

9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. -Ecclesiastes 7:9

So the big question is: How do I deal with anger before it deals with me? There are a lot of different things that we can try, bunt from my personal experience, there is not a one and done remedy and usually it takes a combinations of efforts to get untangled from the web that anger weaves.

The most important thing is to make a decision before you are angry that you are not ever going to allow anger to call the shots. This way, you go in from a strong place, which is much better than beginning from a place of weakness. Below are a few other ideas that will assist you in dealing with anger before it deals with you.

There is the famous “Count Method!” You can either count to ten or count backwards, but I have found that many times, this seems to get me a little more angry???

Take A Breath! In fact, take several deep breaths – in and out. Our breathing becomes shallow and rapid when we are angry and sometimes taking a moment to focus on and change our breathing works wonders in calming us down enough to get back our control.

Go For A Walk! Walking is one of the best things we can do for a lot of different things, but taking time to walk when we are angry allows us to process our thoughts and gives us some time to gain that control back that is so easily lost.

Stretch Your Frustration Away! When we get angry, our muscles tense up, tighten and we become a big ole ball of negative emotions. When we are in this state, it is very easy for us to say or do something that we are sure to regret later. Stretch it out – you will be glad you did!

Pray! That’s right, take some time to talk to God and also some time to listen to God. Prayer is powerful and God wants to help us be victorious in every area of our life, so just by making and taking the time to talk and listen to God, you are moving yourself to a higher level of living. It’s also a great idea to write in your journal, this gives you creative space to shake free of the entanglements of anger!

Practice Gratitude! This requires a major shift in gears, but if you make it, it will totally change things and fast, In fact, I keep a gratitude list in my head and heart of top blessing that I have in my life that help to remind me of the things that really matter. Thinking through this list gets me grateful and moves me to a better place quicker than almost anything else.

Now there are a thousand other ways to deal with anger before it deals with you. I encourage you to find your top three to five and have them in your arsenal, ready to draw whenever anger decides to raise it’s ugly head in your life. You’ve got this, because you were created for so much more!

Paradoxical Unity!

Some say that to appreciate someone or something as beautiful, then someone or something else must be identified as ugly. This also works in the reverse: To see something as ugly, then we must identify something else as beautiful. This comparison is based on duality of two or more things being opposite from one another and one being better or worse than the other.

We practice the idea of duality in all of our life and living. There is living and dying. Dying is what makes living so precious, while dying makes us think twice about wasting our living. Other examples include fat and skinny, short and tall, love and hate, male and female, young and old, up and down, black and white, good and evil. You get the idea, right?

The world we live in has trained us to judge everything in the realm of duality, but what if instead, we viewed it all as a big part of the Master Plan? The real problem with duality is that it requires us to make a judgment and it is usually the judgment that messes us up, breaks our relationships and moves us away from the life of blessing we were created for.

We like to say: “Well everyone is entitled to their opinion!” Really – who says? Why do we have to have an option? Why do we feel so compelled to make a judgment? While there is clearly duality in the things we have mentioned, it’s not the duality we need to concern ourselves with. We need instead to be looking for the unity, because in the unity is where we find freedom, purpose and peace.

Life and death are different, but the same. Good and evil are judgments, but one cannot be made without the other, so both are necessary. You are a paradox in unity yourself, because you are human, but spiritual at the same time, meaning that part of you has limits and another part of you is unlimited.

You are not any one thing, instead you are billions of pieces, a mixture of divinity and humanity, spirit and flesh, heaven and earth. You are powerful and powerless, so what’s your choice? How will you live? You can live as a jumbled up mixture of criticism, emotions and judgment or you can live a blessed, fulfilled and inspirational life that goes with the flow of the One who brought you to the dance…


The CHURCH is not a building. To think of the church as a building is to limit it in so many different ways. The CHURCH is the physical gathering together of spiritual believers. We gather together, because we’ve been brought from death to life and our spirit is empowered to help us live life at a higher level. We gather together to worship the ONE , Who has made it all possible. We gather together to study, learn and grow as disciples set apart to something better than just getting by. We gather together to bless, encourage and serve others, because when we do this we are serving the ONE, Who makes everything possible. We gather together, because we are better, stronger and more powerful together than apart.

Coming together on Sunday is about accountability, community, connection, encouragement, growth, networking, relationship and so much more. This face to face, heart to heart and spirit to spirit interaction accomplishes things that nothing else can. It’s God’s designed way for us to become all that He has created and crafted us to be and then some.

“Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhort one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” -Hebrews 10:25

Why Church? Because Church Is Ministry We Are All In Need Of…

The Ministry OF Relationship! We are a part of something much bigger than ourselves. We belong to a spiritual family that loves us at our best and worst. We are united together as the family of God, a group of men, women, boys and girls who believe in the Gospel “good news” that God made a way where there was no way, so that we might have abundant and everlasting life.

The Ministry Of Example! We need one another to grow spiritually the way God designed us to grow! When we do life together we learn from each other’s failures and successes. We see how “not to do it” and how to “do it”. Learning from failure and success are both important and the good news is: It is not dependent upon you being perfect and never making a mistake. It is just simply dependent upon you living your life, learning along the way and sharing the journey with others.

The Ministry Of Presence! We grow one another! The best way to learn is from one another. When we come together in unity, in spite of all that tries to divide us, it is a brilliant testimony to the rest of the world that there is something (SOMEONE) greater that unites us and ties us together. Young, old and in-between, from every socio-economic background, all colors and creeds, from every walk of life – united in Christ, yielded to the Spirit and in love with God our Creator.

I want to encourage you to find a church that you can be a part of, because you have blessings that someone else needs and somewhere there is someone waiting on you with a blessing you’ve been looking for…