Category Archives: emotions

anger, Blogroll, Control, emotions, Gratitude, Healing, life

Dealing With Anger Before It Deals With You!

There is nothing wrong with getting angry, in fact it is a natural human response that indicates that something has annoyed, challenged or frustrated us. The problem with anger is when we allow it to take control and call the shots for us, often causing us to say or do something that we later regret and feel shame for.

9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. -Ecclesiastes 7:9

So the big question is: How do I deal with anger before it deals with me? There are a lot of different things that we can try, bunt from my personal experience, there is not a one and done remedy and usually it takes a combinations of efforts to get untangled from the web that anger weaves.

The most important thing is to make a decision before you are angry that you are not ever going to allow anger to call the shots. This way, you go in from a strong place, which is much better than beginning from a place of weakness. Below are a few other ideas that will assist you in dealing with anger before it deals with you.

There is the famous “Count Method!” You can either count to ten or count backwards, but I have found that many times, this seems to get me a little more angry???

Take A Breath! In fact, take several deep breaths – in and out. Our breathing becomes shallow and rapid when we are angry and sometimes taking a moment to focus on and change our breathing works wonders in calming us down enough to get back our control.

Go For A Walk! Walking is one of the best things we can do for a lot of different things, but taking time to walk when we are angry allows us to process our thoughts and gives us some time to gain that control back that is so easily lost.

Stretch Your Frustration Away! When we get angry, our muscles tense up, tighten and we become a big ole ball of negative emotions. When we are in this state, it is very easy for us to say or do something that we are sure to regret later. Stretch it out – you will be glad you did!

Pray! That’s right, take some time to talk to God and also some time to listen to God. Prayer is powerful and God wants to help us be victorious in every area of our life, so just by making and taking the time to talk and listen to God, you are moving yourself to a higher level of living. It’s also a great idea to write in your journal, this gives you creative space to shake free of the entanglements of anger!

Practice Gratitude! This requires a major shift in gears, but if you make it, it will totally change things and fast, In fact, I keep a gratitude list in my head and heart of top blessing that I have in my life that help to remind me of the things that really matter. Thinking through this list gets me grateful and moves me to a better place quicker than almost anything else.

Now there are a thousand other ways to deal with anger before it deals with you. I encourage you to find your top three to five and have them in your arsenal, ready to draw whenever anger decides to raise it’s ugly head in your life. You’ve got this, because you were created for so much more!

Blogroll, Control, emotions, faith, Growing, Healing, judgement, life, mindfulness, Miracles, self help, self improvement, vision

The Only Person You Can Change Is Yourself!

We live in a world that is always trying to shape us into what someone else thinks or says we should be and the real problem with that scenario is that the shape is always changing depending on who happens to be holding to loudest bullhorn at the time.

Most of us have things we would like to change about ourselves and most everyone at some point in their lives can come up with a pretty good list of things they would like to change about others, but if you live your life long enough, you will learn pretty quickly that you cannot change others, no matter how much you think you love them and/or how much you think they love you.

There have been times in my life when I have convinced myself that I could love, encourage, inspire, educate and motivate others to change to be their best self and live their best life, only to eventually come to the realization that the only thing that can change another person is themselves.

If a person does not want to change, then they won’t, it is as simple as that. There is nothing you can do to change someone else, so stop trying to fix everyone else and work on yourself, because we all have enough of our own stuff to deal with.

If you don’t like or love someone the way they are, then that is your problem, even if they are wrong and even if they are cheating or hurting themselves, because their life is their life to decide for themselves. You do not have the right to change anyone else, just like no one else has the right to change you.

Think about it for a moment: God has the ability to change anything and anyone He wants to, but He does not do it. Instead, He gives us time and space to learn and grow through the ups, downs and sideways of life. If and when we are ready to make a change, then God is ready to empower us to do what we need to do, to live the better life we were created for.

“Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” -Ephesians 4:22-24

Stop blaming others and quit getting caught up in the delusion that you can fix others. If you are honest with yourself, you have to admit what a hard time you have fixing yourself. In fact, take your eyes off of others and give your life and living a hard and honest look. Determine what you need to change, decide what you can do about it and get to work.

It is true that we can’t change anyone else, but we can change ourselves and the change in our lives can serve as motivation for others to think about changing themselves too…

Blogroll, complaining, Condemnation, Criticism, emotions, Excuses, Growing, influence, life, mindfulness, personal growth, self help

Only You Can Prevent Word Fires!

It’s absolutely amazing how careless we have become with our words. I guess we have always been this way, but it seems to have gotten worse with the advent of social media and I think that the ability to hide behind a mask has made some folks a little more brave and a lot more careless with their words.

Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! -James 3:5

Smokey the Bear taught us that a simple spark can set the woods on fire and destroy in minutes what nature took years to grow and develop. And James is explaining that our words can work in much the same way in our lives and living.

We can use our words to tear down or to build up. Our words will either break us or make us better. If we use our words to complain and spread negativity, then they will defeat and ruin us, as well as those around us. When we line our words up with God’s Word and seek the positivity of the Gospel, then they will lead us to blessing and victory.

I hate to say it, but sometimes, those of us who call ourselves Christians can be some of the most negative and pessimistic people you could ever run across. And before we get to busy thinking that it is someone else that we are talking about here, we would do well to look in the mirror and review some of our more recent conversations for revelations that the Spirit might use to surprise us with some gentle correction.

The bottom line is that we can use our tongues to set a fire that provides a warm, safe place. A place where people can be themselves without fear of retribution, judgement and condemnation. Or we can use our tongues to set a fire that will destroy the very blessings we were created to live in.

I can remember my Granny saying when I was just a little boy: “Think before you speak!” I have found that when I really take the time to do that, sometimes I don’t speak at all, because I know it is better to keep my mounts shut, than to light that fire. At other times, after thinking before I speak, I have found that I changed my words so that I might light a fire of acceptance and comfort of others, which changes their life and mine.

My prayer is that God’s words will be my words and provide comfort, healing, encouragement, joy and love to all around… So I will do my best to think about a couple of other forest animals and what Thumper shared with Bambi: “My Mother said: “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say nothin at all!”