I try to have a word for the day for most days and today my word was confidence. There are times when confidence seems to come easy for me and there are others times when confidence seems to be an illusive animal that I just can’t seem to track down. It’s kinda funny, because there are times when I am pretty confident of my confidence and other times when my lack of confidence really throws me into a state of confusion. So today, I wanted to think a little about confidence, what helps me to be confident, what gets in the way of confidence and the price I pay when I can’t figure this confidence thing out.
So one of the first things I needed to figure out and why do I want to develop my confidence, if that is even possible? And of source I think it is possible, so in order for me to figure out, I started to think about where my lack of confidence comes from and what it may be costing me, so that I could figure out if this was really even a battle worth fighting.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -Psalms 139:13-14
I want to develop more confidence, because I know that I don’t like the feeling of limitation that a lack of confidence produces in my life. You know that moment just before and right after you walk into a room full of people. That time and space, where you just don’t feel like you are enough. Not smart enough, good looking enough and we could fill in the blanks all night long. One of the major problems here is our getting caught up in the “comparison game”. Do not play this silly game, you will lose every time and if you don’t lose, you still lose!
I feel like I lack confidence when I am around people, because I want to be accepted and loved by everyone, but don’t always feel that I deserve that, because of past experiences. In so many ways I was loved and encouraged by my family and friends growing up, but that never seems to be what I focus on. Rather than focusing on the acceptance, encouragement and love I did have, I tend to think about what I didn’t have and it takes me straight down the road to a lack of confidence and often paralyzes me where I stand. We know this is not a right way of thinking, but it is the way that most of us do it, so now what?
One of the things I have been doing that has been a big help to me in a lot of different areas is taking time at the very beginning of my day to focus in on my day, who I want to be, what I want to accomplish, where I want to go, when and how I’m going to get there and why all this really matters. Thinking through these questions help me to put together a workable plan to get more meaningful things accomplished and this emphasis on meaningful work over busy work has contributed to me feeling more confident.
We have a choice, we can get distracted by who we are not, by what we don’t have and how we can never get there or we can find confidence in our success, build upon it and dream of growing better.
Think about just three words. Three words that help you to think about who you want to be, who you are going to be as you grow in your confidence. My three words that describe my future best self is blessed, confident and successful.
Everyday that I get to do what I was created to do is a blessing. The by product of growing is that I develop confidence that helps me to become even more effective in all that I do. Living this life and being happy is the greatest form of success that I can ask for and I have discovered that I have ll of this and more when I am fulfilling my called and created purpose…