Friend, pull up a rocking chair for a minute because this one matters. Gossip is one of those quiet storms that does not always start with thunder, but it sure can tear a church family apart if we do not guard our hearts and our tongues.
I have to admit something. Sometimes when I am out in public, sitting at a restaurant with my coffee and my thoughts, I cannot help but hear the conversations happening in the booth beside me. The other day I overheard what I am sure were well intentioned church members from a nearby congregation. They were talking about things under the excuse of concern, but the more I listened, the clearer it became. It was not concern. It was gossip.
Scripture defines gossip clearly. Proverbs 16:28 says, “A froward man soweth strife and a whisperer separateth chief friends.” The Bible does not treat gossip like a minor issue. It treats it like a spiritual wedge that drives people apart.
A simple definition of gossip is this: Talking about people instead of talking to people. Sharing information that is not yours to share. Passing along something that can harm someone, even if you dress it up as concern or a prayer request.
Here is the danger. Most gossip does not come from mean spirited people. It often comes from folks who genuinely think they are helping. But good intentions do not protect us from bad consequences.
Why Gossip Is Such a Problem
On the porch of God’s Word, gossip breaks fellowship long before anyone realizes what happened.
• Gossip adds information but removes love.
• Gossip talks about people instead of to them.
• Gossip wounds the body of Christ, causing the whole church to limp.
• Gossip replaces truth with speculation and assumes the worst instead of believing the best.
• Gossip turns someone’s struggle into someone else’s story.
Why Well Intentioned People Get Caught in It
This is where it gets tricky. Some of the sweetest folks can be pulled into gossip without ever noticing it.
• They confuse concern with conversation.
• They want to be helpful but avoid the hard work of going directly to the person involved.
• They think passing information is the same as passing wisdom.
• They believe that talking about a problem will somehow fix it, when in reality it only exposes it.
Those dear folks at the restaurant did not wake up that morning intending to hurt their church. But every word they whispered carried weight, and none of it built anyone up.
How Gossip Hurts the Church
A church does not usually fall apart because of big scandals.
More often it crumbles because of small conversations.
• Trust gets thin.
• Spirits get heavy.
• Unity gets fragile.
• The mission gets blurry.
• And the name of Jesus gets overshadowed by unnecessary drama.
Gossip is spiritual termites. It chews through the beams of fellowship until the whole porch starts to sag.
A Better Way, The Jesus Way
When you love someone, you talk to them, not about them.
When you care about the church, you protect unity, guard hearts, and refuse to let your tongue become a weapon the enemy can use.
Jesus gave us a simple pattern.
Go to your brother.
Go with humility.
Go with the hope of restoration.
Not to expose, but to heal.
Not to embarrass, but to embrace.
Before we speak, ask three simple questions:
1. Is it true? 2. Is it necessary? 3. Is it loving?
If it fails even one of those tests, it does not belong on your lips.
The body of Christ is too precious, too fragile, and too important to let careless conversations undo what the Holy Spirit is trying to build. Let’s be people who do not spread gossip. We smother it. We silence it. We step on it before it steps on someone else.
Let’s be builders of peace, protectors of unity, and encouragers of grace.
Michael Joe Harvell 